The Cloistered Vandal

Team Dumbo

Posted on May 21st, 2015

Filed under: Fidelia, Reese Witherspoon, Christoph Waltz, Robert Pattinson

Book title: Water for Elephants

Author: Sara Gruen

Film director: Francis Lawrence

Crosspatch Artist: Fidelia

Bookdrop location: Hardin House, Austin, TX

Bookdrop date: 5/23/2015

Reference: Original | Non-horrible cover

Note: We attended a screening of this movie with Fidelia during its theatrical run. When Robert Pattinson appeared on screen a few minutes into the film, she leaned over to us and said, "Is that what's-his-Twilight?" Indeed it was.

He Is DJ...

Posted on May 18th, 2015

Filed under: Fidelia, Will Smith

Book title: I Am Legend

Author: Richard Matheson

Film director: Francis Lawrence

Crosspatch Artist: Fidelia

Bookdrop location: Epoch Coffee, Austin, Tx

Bookdrop date: 5/29/2015

Reference: Original

Note: We ran into some difficulty attempting to find a Non-Horrible Cover to which we might link. We generally define "Non-Horrible" as "a cover design that would not prevent us from purchasing the book." An image search on Google failed to provide us with even one such cover, though it did yield some interesting results. Our favorite of these covers accompanies an article about Richard Matheson's attempt to adapt his book into a screenplay. It is a story which sheds a bit of light on another cover for Richard Matheson's censored and unproduced I Am Legend screenplay, which is the only publication we have ever seen trumpeting its own censored nature.

A post on the blog Too Much Horror Fiction collects a few of the covers this book has been subjected to. Notable among them is a movie tie-in from the 1971 Charlton Heston film The Omega Man which, of course, features the movie title and the actor's face more prominently than the book's actual title.

Also, our younger readers—who may not understand what we are referencing with this particular cover art—would do well to educate themselves on Will Smith's hobbies prior to his inclusion on the Hollywood A-List.

Thomas and the Round House Rules

Posted on May 14th, 2015

Filed under: Fidelia, Toby Maguire

Book title: The Cider House Rules

Author: John Irving

Film director: Lasse Hallström

Crosspatch Artist: Fidelia

Bookdrop location: Lucky Bakery, Austin, TX

Bookdrop date: 5/17/2015

Reference: Original | Non-horrible cover

Note: Thomas had always enjoyed transporting passengers from place to place, and he had always thought that everyone enjoyed their own jobs as well. But one morning, he noticed that Sodor's mayor, Sir Toby Hatt, seemed unhappy. "I wonder about this pensive expression on your face, Sir Toby," Thomas said. Sir Toby replied, "Thomas, sometimes I feel that I should not be here. I feel that I should perhaps use my spider-like abilities for something more than being mayor."

"That's a wonderful idea, Mr. Mayor," said Thomas. "I would be glad to take over your job for you. The motto of my office will be: With great potency comes great accountability."

"I think I shall stay right where I am, Thomas," said Sir Toby Hatt, a touch too quickly.

The Scarlet Potter

Posted on May 4th, 2015

Filed under: Fidelia, Demi Moore, Gary Oldman

Book title: The Scarlet Letter

Author: Nathaniel Hawthorne

Film director: Roland Joffé

Crosspatch Artist: Fidelia

Bookdrop location: It's a Grind, Austin, Tx

Bookdrop date: 5/10/15

Reference: Various other covers

Note: Most of us in The Crosspatch Collective read this book in high school English. None of us has seen this movie. However, given that its Rotten Tomatoes rating is 14%, we do not need to see it in order to know it did not feature a scene involving a pottery wheel... and that it should have.

Knight Club

Posted on April 16th, 2015

Filed under: Fidelia, Brad Pitt, Edward Norton

Book title: Fight Club

Author: Chuck Palahniuk

Film director: David Fincher

Crosspatch Artist: Fidelia

Bookdrop location: Galaxy Bakery, Georgetown, TX

Bookdrop date: 4/18/2015

Reference: Original | Non-horrible cover

Note: Sir Robin would definitely have run away from Brad Pitt and Edward Norton... as would we all.

Cone Girl

Posted on March 26th, 2015

Filed under: Fidelia, Ben Affleck

Book title: Gone Girl

Author: Gillian Flynn

Film director: David Fincher

Crosspatch Artist: Fidelia

Bookdrop location: Cuppa Austin

Bookdrop date: 3/29/15

Reference: Original Cover | Non-horrible Cover

Note: Casting Ben Affleck in a movie makes sense. Having Ben Affleck on the movie poster makes sense. Having Ben Affleck on the book cover does not make sense. Having ice cream makes sense of everything.

The Fellowship of the Ringo

Posted on March 15th, 2015

Filed under: Lotr, Elijah Wood, Fidelia

Book title: The Fellowship of the Ring

Author: J.R.R. Tolkien

Film director: Peter Jackson

Crosspatch artist: Fidelia

Bookdrop location: Cianfrani, Georgetown, TX

Bookdrop date: 3/15/15

Reference: Original Cover | Non-horrible cover

Note: Seeing Elijah Wood in the film delighted us. Seeing Elijah Wood on the book cover disgusted us. Seeing Ringo Starr on the cover makes us smile.

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