Showing all posts tagged lotr:

16-bit hero


Book title: The Fellowship of the Ring
Author: J.R.R. Tolkien
Film director: Peter Jackson
Crosspatch Artist: Earthworm
Bookdrop location: TBD
Bookdrop date: TBD
Note: Hedgehogs are an unobtrusive but very ancient people, who have from the beginning possessed the art of running swiftly and silently for long stretches, collecting rings as they go and taunting opponents who try to stop them. We know very little about them other than what can be gleaned from mystic runes and vintage TV spots.

Additional Note: This is the second contribution from the 11-year-old Earthworm (with a little help from Fidelia), his first being another video-game-themed cover concerning The Godfather. This is also the first time a moviebook cover has appeared twice in this space. The Fellowship of the Ring featuring Elijah Wood was the volume that inspired the idea of The Cloistered Vandal and was our first vandalized cover.

Uh oh.


Book title: The Return of the King
Author: J.R.R. Tolkein
Film director: Peter Jackson
Crosspatch Artist: Bibamus
Bookdrop location: Sips Coffee and More
Bookdrop date: 4/12/2016
Note: "They took everything from me. My castle, my reputation, my elf girlfriend. I've had to wallow in mud just to help a half-pint destroy a magic ring. But the one thing they will never take from me is my crown! My beautiful— oh, for @#$%&! sake."

Frodo's Lament

Book title: The Fellowship of the Ring
Author: J.R.R. Tolkein
Film director: Peter Jackson
Crosspatch Artist: Bracatus
Bookdrop location: Fat Cats Organic Coffee and Desserts, Austin, TX
Bookdrop date: 3/21/2016
Reference: Original (mercifully unavailable) | Non-horrible cover
Note: He stared in astonishment, trying not to believe what he was seeing in the mirror. A brilliant, red, north-star pimple had appeared on his face—his 50-year-old face—right as he was about to meet the queen of the elves. His brain numbed at the injustice his skin and hormones were inflicting upon him. Why this? Why now?

Little did he know two more would follow soon, that they would be epic, and that for centuries, generation after generation would tell tales of them in Middle Earth and beyond.

Rightly said



Book title: The Two Towers
Author: J. R. R. Tolkein
Film director: Peter Jackson
Crosspatch Artist: Bibamus
Bookdrop location: TBD
Bookdrop date: TBD
Reference: Original (see below) | Non-horrible cover
Note: According to Wikipedia, elves are "a group of beings with magical powers and supernatural beauty." Or, possibly, that article refers rather to supermodels on the catwalk. We don't know. We find it difficult to concentrate when contemplating such matters.


WOW meme aMazement


Book title: The Return of the King
Author: J.R.R. Tolkien
Film director: Peter Jackson
Crosspatch Artist: Fidelia
Bookdrop location: TBD
Bookdrop date: TBD
Reference: Original (see below) | Non-horrible cover
Note: It is pronounced DOHG of the RYEngs.

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